I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
