im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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