even my farts smell like vagina
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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