You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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