I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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