Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
