im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
