I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
