3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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