Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
