sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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