Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
