Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
