I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
