I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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