I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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