she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
