i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
