If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
