I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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