what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
