if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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