med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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