I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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