I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
