I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
