i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it hurts more in the daytime
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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