I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
