There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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