So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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