Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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