i wish there were pregnant emoticons
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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