Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
