They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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