Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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