I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
