I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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