I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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