there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
