"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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