Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
