Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
