I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
