Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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