you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
