I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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