whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
