im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
