..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Text me some of your sweat
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
