wake up i wanna do it froggy style
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
