just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
